So, what happened when I asked Google what I should use on my website?
The number one most searched for phrase that has to do with writing is this: "how to right a book"
How to RIGHT a book? *Face palm*
OK, then, reader. Since Google says this phrase is what people search for then I will oblige. Here are the steps I suggest you take if you want to learn how to right a book.
1) Turn the book so that the spine sits vertically and faces you. Stand book up on shelf in that position.
Oh? Is that not what people meant when they asked Google "how to right a book"? Forgive me. I got confused there. Let's try again.
1) Learn to spell.
The correct phrase is "how to write a book." Write. To write something is to "compose in words or characters." To right something is to set it "in an upright position."
2) Stop asking Google for all the answers.
If you have to ask Google how to write a book, did you even go to school? Have you even looked at a book? If not, why do you want to write one? Heck, if you really meant to ask Google how to "right" a book, that's even worse! You've never seen a book on a shelf? Not even in a school library?
*face palm*
3) Just write the book.
There are no rules to writing a book, beyond some basic grammar, which anyone searching on Google "how to right a book" has failed at anyway and shouldn't write anything. No, I'm not a grammar Nazi. I mess up on grammar all the time, but this is ridiculous!
4) Wait until Marilla has stopped crying for humanity.
She will write up a much better how-to on writing a book later. Just because she thinks it would be fun to share with everyone her process.
I just noticed my shelves are looking a bit haphazard. I'm going to right some books before I decide to write some books.